::yawn::

Yeah, sue me. I took a few days off.

I've been unexpectedly dealing with some shit feelings rising up again, suddenly. I think part of it is I am sick to DEATH of the people I know who keep going on and on and on about their annoying diets, and I'd like to think it doesn't bother me, but maybe it does. Yesterday was the first time I forever that I did NOT want to eat my lunch because I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out. I ate anyway (god, it was just miso soup with soba noodles, snap peas and hummus and a little pack of dark chocolate peanut M&Ms), and it was fine, but it's like. . .I don't need that again.

And secondly, I've been dealing with feelings of sucking at friendship again. I admit: I'm an awful friend, which is probably why I can count the ones I have on one hand. Half a hand, really. This, in turn makes my anger rise not just towards other people, but towards myself for my own failures and THAT contributes to The Problem Alluded At Above and it's just this vicous, awful cycle that needs to be broken NOW.

I've been trying to make today a good/better day. I drove to the bookstore and spent a lot of time there, browsing through books and magazines. Then I drove to Sophie's and had some tea and wrote in my notebook. Now I'm probably just going to play World of Warcraft for 38593 hours, and maybe later I'll go to yoga class because I kinda need it today.

So, I'm sorry that this entry is such a downer. I'm working on it.