Amazing

So, you know, I've been kinda pissed at myself because I haven't been incorporating yoga into my day like I want to. To make matters worse, I even have a yoga pass for All That Matters, so I can go to any class I want, whenever. For the past few days, I planned on going to a 9:30 yoga class at least once. Both mornings, I woke up and knew I'd much rather be doing my usual eat-breakfast-have-coffee-do-crosswords routine then getting dolled up for yoga class. So I ditched going to class and then spent the rest of the day feeling bad about it.

Today was the same deal. 9:30 class, woke up with plenty of time to spare, decided I'd rather not. At first I sat down at my computer, with my yogurt/pumpkin/granola concoction and my coffee and guiltily did my first crossword, wondering why I even bothered getting the freaking yoga pass.

So I kinda stepped back mentally and said what the hell. Why was I avoiding yoga so much, or was it something else entirely? And then that tiny, smart voice that sometimes makes an appearance said "why don't you just deal with the fact that you like having mornings to do whatever and simply go to evening classes instead?"

Seriously.

I felt better almost immediately.

I am so used to telling myself "you've got to do this and if you don't everything is going to be ruined and awful." I am so used to feeling like I've absolutely got to live up to certain expectations or else I am failing in the eyes of whoever is paying attention. Just the simple act of realizing that I CAN break what I "planned" to do and that the world won't end because of it is pretty radical for me. There's nothing wrong with me wanting my mornings free, that's just how I am. In fact, realizing that means that I can plan accordingly. Maybe instead of riding in the afternoon, I can ride in the morning (around 11) and then I'll definitely have time for other stuff in the evening. That is something I would be more willing to do.

Another thing that's interesting is that I have been craving more salads and crunchy, raw foods lately-- which are the exact opposite from what my dosha ought to have. Those foods *are* considered good for kapha, which has the qualities of heaviness, laziness and inertia, which kinda describes how I've been feeling mentally for a few days. :p Maybe actually listening to my internal cues and eating what my body wants to eat is helping me make these other revelations too. I believe that body and mind are interconnected, so it would make sense.

Well, that's all I have for now. Hope you all have a good day!