Calm Before the Storm, Maybe

I know I never wrote about what happened at my Mom's tarot card party, but so far the things the lady predicted have been right. She said I'd receive some important documents within the following two weeks, and I did-- I got my grad school acceptance letter. She said that something I'd have to fill out paperwork wise might seem complicated, to make sure that everything was filled out correctly-- hello, FAFSA. And there were quite a few other things she said about myself in general that were true, eerily so for someone that didn't even know me at all.

But one other thing she said was that I'd be facing a situation later this year that would seem overwhelming and leave me questioning if what I was doing was the right thing and maybe even thinking of backing down. Also, it would have something to do with the number 9-- the 9th of something. Think about this. When does school start? September. September is the 9th month of the year.

I can tell you that I've already begun feeling overwhelmed. I spent some time on the GSLIS website yesterday and I feel like there's just so much to do. Nevermind just classes, there are student associations to join, professional associations to be involved with, potential to do Professional Field Experience (which requires a LOT of preparation), etc. etc. I can feel myself already starting to pull back at the mere thought of it all. And then I start worrying about more mundane things, like whether I'll have to call my advisor or if email will be okay, if she'll still be on sabbatical, meaning I'll have to start with someone else, if she'll be nice or a bitch like my original history advisor (ahem). Just so many worries. I can totally picture myself being overwhelmed come September, wondering if I made the right choice or if I again f'ed up planning for my future.

I just know I'm going to need some extra support as the time gets nearer, probably in the form of more medication and maybe some counceling. I don't know yet.

In other news. . .so I figured out that sitting meditation and I do not go together, haha. This is not much of a surprise. Actually, it's not so bad if I give myself something to meditate on, like the impermanence of the body for example. This is a perfectly legit way of meditating, so I'm not "cheating" or anything. If I just concentrate on the breath, forget it, my mind is in a billion different places. The only time I can do that type of meditation, it seems, is at the end of yoga class during savassana. Maybe it's because by thenI've already expended enough energy that my mind is happy to settle on something so basic!

I had a good ride on Dandy yesterday and Travis was there taking pictures, so I'll be posting those on Facebook soon. ;) He's such a little booger, but I love him. I'd take him home in a heartbeat, haha.

Well, that's all for the moment. I'm working tonight 3-9 and then in the morning, 8-4 I think so I probably won't write again til Tuesday. ~_~