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So please stalk me over there now. ^__^
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I will Probably Delete This But
I'm annoyed at the tooth situation (can't get it extracted til the middle of JULY), I'm annoyed at people who insist on commenting on my weight and I think the best thing to do is just get this off my chest.
The most frustrating thing is that I am fully responsible for the state of my teeth.
I used to have great teeth. My very picky hygenist even used to compliment me, saying that I obviously took good care of them. Going to the dentist for a cleaning was always quick and easy. I had a couple of minor cavities back when I was younger, but for the most part, no problems. Nothing to worry about.
Then. . .things changed.
Here's the bombshell, kids.
From 2000 to 2008 I dealt with all kinds of eating related problems. From 2003 on, that largely meant purging. I was NOT bulimic because bingeing was not much my thing, but normal sized meals and snacks? Anywhere from a few times a day to just a couple of times a week, that ice cream/cous cous and veggie mix/sushi/egg and cheese sandwich/you name it was bound to see the light of day again, and soon.
It's not even so much that I was doing it to lose weight. I was never quite efficient enough for that. It was just something I didn't think I could do, so it became its own perverse little challenge-- I was going to show my body who was boss. After it was obvious that I *could* it was so ingrained as a habit, and I'm sure chemically, that I could not quit. Literally nothing was safe to eat, not even salad if I ate "too much" of it.
Well, as you can imagine, this caused a lot of physical problems, but the destruction of my teeth has been the most lasting. A lot of purgers swig mouthwash afterwards to get rid of some of the acid, but not me. I didn't *want* a clean bill of health; I wanted someone to notice that something was up.
Yeah. In 2008, I got my "wish" when x-rays showed that I had 12 cavities, noticeable enamel erosion and of course, that misshapen back tooth. I was NOT thrilled; I went back to the apartment and cried. Didn't stop me from throwing up though; a few days later, I was at it again.
Between moving into Travis' family's house (where I'm never alone) and my Kripalu trip last year, I was ready to quit and furthermore, had no choice. There was no magic to the process; at first it was so, so, so hard but eventually I saw that by sticking to my 80% good, 20% junk food ratio, I could keep my weight just fine. There are still things I do not like to eat, but nothing is really off limits. And even before my tooth started acting up, I decided it was pretty much over. The few slips I had made me feel so awful physically that I realize I just wasn't into that anymore. I don't miss constant acid reflux, nor heart palpitations, nor lightheadedness and feeling off-balance all the time.
So sometimes nowadays when people comment on my weight, I get kinda mad because I feel like they may be insinuating that I have a problem when I truly, honestly don't. I've been through a lot and had to work to get to the healthy point I am at now; I am fervently against dieting and all that crap. I am much more inspired by people who eat well, exercise cuz they want to, and realize that there's much more to living than obsessing over all that.
That's it.
The most frustrating thing is that I am fully responsible for the state of my teeth.
I used to have great teeth. My very picky hygenist even used to compliment me, saying that I obviously took good care of them. Going to the dentist for a cleaning was always quick and easy. I had a couple of minor cavities back when I was younger, but for the most part, no problems. Nothing to worry about.
Then. . .things changed.
Here's the bombshell, kids.
From 2000 to 2008 I dealt with all kinds of eating related problems. From 2003 on, that largely meant purging. I was NOT bulimic because bingeing was not much my thing, but normal sized meals and snacks? Anywhere from a few times a day to just a couple of times a week, that ice cream/cous cous and veggie mix/sushi/egg and cheese sandwich/you name it was bound to see the light of day again, and soon.
It's not even so much that I was doing it to lose weight. I was never quite efficient enough for that. It was just something I didn't think I could do, so it became its own perverse little challenge-- I was going to show my body who was boss. After it was obvious that I *could* it was so ingrained as a habit, and I'm sure chemically, that I could not quit. Literally nothing was safe to eat, not even salad if I ate "too much" of it.
Well, as you can imagine, this caused a lot of physical problems, but the destruction of my teeth has been the most lasting. A lot of purgers swig mouthwash afterwards to get rid of some of the acid, but not me. I didn't *want* a clean bill of health; I wanted someone to notice that something was up.
Yeah. In 2008, I got my "wish" when x-rays showed that I had 12 cavities, noticeable enamel erosion and of course, that misshapen back tooth. I was NOT thrilled; I went back to the apartment and cried. Didn't stop me from throwing up though; a few days later, I was at it again.
Between moving into Travis' family's house (where I'm never alone) and my Kripalu trip last year, I was ready to quit and furthermore, had no choice. There was no magic to the process; at first it was so, so, so hard but eventually I saw that by sticking to my 80% good, 20% junk food ratio, I could keep my weight just fine. There are still things I do not like to eat, but nothing is really off limits. And even before my tooth started acting up, I decided it was pretty much over. The few slips I had made me feel so awful physically that I realize I just wasn't into that anymore. I don't miss constant acid reflux, nor heart palpitations, nor lightheadedness and feeling off-balance all the time.
So sometimes nowadays when people comment on my weight, I get kinda mad because I feel like they may be insinuating that I have a problem when I truly, honestly don't. I've been through a lot and had to work to get to the healthy point I am at now; I am fervently against dieting and all that crap. I am much more inspired by people who eat well, exercise cuz they want to, and realize that there's much more to living than obsessing over all that.
That's it.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Verdict:
Out, damned tooth!
Yeah. From what I described, my dentist thinks most of the pain is due to a minor infection, but pretty much, it's time for the tooth to go. UNfortunately, since it's my very back molar, he cannot extract it in his office-- I'll need to go to an oral surgeon. In the meantime, I get Amoxycillin for the infection and Vicodin for the pain. Wheeeee.
He gave me a list of nearby oral surgeons, plus there's the one I've already used a long time ago to get my wisdom teeth out that I know is good. Now the trick is finding out who takes my lovely Aetna Dental insurance. Who needs national health care? Certainly not the US! @_@
Anyways, that's the scoop. So I'll still be grumpy in pain for a little while longer.
Yeah. From what I described, my dentist thinks most of the pain is due to a minor infection, but pretty much, it's time for the tooth to go. UNfortunately, since it's my very back molar, he cannot extract it in his office-- I'll need to go to an oral surgeon. In the meantime, I get Amoxycillin for the infection and Vicodin for the pain. Wheeeee.
He gave me a list of nearby oral surgeons, plus there's the one I've already used a long time ago to get my wisdom teeth out that I know is good. Now the trick is finding out who takes my lovely Aetna Dental insurance. Who needs national health care? Certainly not the US! @_@
Anyways, that's the scoop. So I'll still be grumpy in pain for a little while longer.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, etc.
So for the past few days, I have been in a lot of pain, thanks largely to my "rogue tooth." My back left molar is barely even a tooth-- it's about half its normal size and is mostly filling. The last time my dentist did work on it he told me if it started bothering me again, it was either gonna be a root canal or the tooth was gonna have to come out.
Well, it might be that time. Tylenol helps, but not for long (certainly not for 8 hours), I haven't gotten a full night's sleep these few days, and I just feel blah because of the pain. The good thing is that it *doesn't* hurt to eat, even cold stuff is relatively okay. That's the only reason why I think it may NOT be the rogue tooth, but the molar in front of it that's having the issues. Before, when the bad tooth had problems, I couldn't eat on that side at all. I called the dentist this morning, but so far they haven't gotten back to me. I hope they at least call in a prescription for some pain killers for me or something cuz this pretty much sucks.
I'm angry because my teeth are the only things continuing to give me problems although I'm nearly at the 1-year mark, recovery wise (if you've known me forever, you're probably thinking 'it's about time' and if you havent any idea what I'm talking about, sorryz, nothing I really feel like explaining today). Everything else physical that was giving me problems healed up nicely, or at least closely enough to normal that it's only an occasional problem. But I guess teeth don't mend so well. Nothing's going to take away those 12 cavities and I don't know if I'll ever gain back all the enamel I lost, which make my front teeth practically see-through. It's like one last reminder that you can think you have all this control over your body but eventually the body says fuck you and snatches the reins back.Ugh.
Well,the dentist just called as I was typing. They can't see me til Thursday anyway, so I guess it's life as usual til then. >_<
Well, it might be that time. Tylenol helps, but not for long (certainly not for 8 hours), I haven't gotten a full night's sleep these few days, and I just feel blah because of the pain. The good thing is that it *doesn't* hurt to eat, even cold stuff is relatively okay. That's the only reason why I think it may NOT be the rogue tooth, but the molar in front of it that's having the issues. Before, when the bad tooth had problems, I couldn't eat on that side at all. I called the dentist this morning, but so far they haven't gotten back to me. I hope they at least call in a prescription for some pain killers for me or something cuz this pretty much sucks.
I'm angry because my teeth are the only things continuing to give me problems although I'm nearly at the 1-year mark, recovery wise (if you've known me forever, you're probably thinking 'it's about time' and if you havent any idea what I'm talking about, sorryz, nothing I really feel like explaining today). Everything else physical that was giving me problems healed up nicely, or at least closely enough to normal that it's only an occasional problem. But I guess teeth don't mend so well. Nothing's going to take away those 12 cavities and I don't know if I'll ever gain back all the enamel I lost, which make my front teeth practically see-through. It's like one last reminder that you can think you have all this control over your body but eventually the body says fuck you and snatches the reins back.Ugh.
Well,the dentist just called as I was typing. They can't see me til Thursday anyway, so I guess it's life as usual til then. >_<
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Send Me Back to Kripalu!
Hello, everyone! Yeah, I'm back. Kinda wish I wasn't. :p
Travis and I had a good, relaxing time, as expected. It only really rained on our first day and at night, otherwise it was just overcast and kind of cool, but we still got to do some outside things.
Some highlights:
-cooking demo the first night. got a recipe for some awesome pad thai and picked up some other new cooking ideas. I think next time I am going to kidnap the head chef and make him my personal cook. :p haha
-the food. it's just great. i wasn't disappointed by anything I had, and some of the dishes were positively to die for (the whipped yams. . .::drool::)
-my lovely, lovely red rooibos tea. I got the web address for where they get it from and I am DEFINITELY getting some before the weather turns colder this year. I don't even like tea this much, but it is the best one ever.
-got my ayurvedic consultation done and learned that I am Pitta-Vata, not mostly Vata like I had thought (though I *used* to be much more vata, so i wasn't totally off). I learned more about what I should eat more of and what I should avoid and some other recommendations, including an herb to try taking when my stomach starts acting up. It was very interesting and I'm glad I got it done.
-watching travis feed peanuts to the super friendly chipmunks and birds. feels like you're in a Disney movie, lol.
-we finally got another *good* picture of the two of us, and on our 3 year anniversary (6/10).
-walking the labrynth again. I *may* have left a wish/hope for this year just like I did last time. It worked then, maybe it will work this year too. ^__^
-attended a kirtan, which is basically chanting, accompanied by music. Sometimes they got a little repetitious (like 13 minutes of "Ganesha somethingsomething, somethingsomething Ganesha) but overall it was fun and a new experience.
-Speaking of, neither Travis nor I are Hindu at all, but Ganesha was like, the overall theme of the week. He seemed to pop up *everywhere* and I even ended up buying a shirt with him on it, lol.
-MC Yogi. Perhaps the only thing closest to rap that I will listen to. Certainly not your typical yoga music!
-We did not go kayaking as I had kinda hoped, not cuz of the weather but because we were too exhausted from a 5 mile hike that morning! It was not the easiest hike in the world, so it kinda killed Travis and I actually took a nap when we got back to the room, lol. At the top of the mountain though was a really nice view fo the town below, and of course, the other mountains.
-The last workshop we attended was a chakra meditation that could be used to help spark creativity. It was pretty cool and maybe something to try at least a mini version of before I attempt to write from now on.
Well, that's certainly not everything, but I would say that it was another successful Kripalu trip and again, if you're open to those types of things, totally recommend you go. Even a weekend would be a good length of time away. It's just nice to be somewhere where you don't HAVE to do anything and you can run around barefoot all day if you want. :p
We have pictures, but they are all on Travis' camera, so you will just have to wait.
PS-- still considering starting a new, slightly different blog. If I get tomorrow off (or Monday) I may start it then. Of course I will keep you updated. <(^-^)>
Travis and I had a good, relaxing time, as expected. It only really rained on our first day and at night, otherwise it was just overcast and kind of cool, but we still got to do some outside things.
Some highlights:
-cooking demo the first night. got a recipe for some awesome pad thai and picked up some other new cooking ideas. I think next time I am going to kidnap the head chef and make him my personal cook. :p haha
-the food. it's just great. i wasn't disappointed by anything I had, and some of the dishes were positively to die for (the whipped yams. . .::drool::)
-my lovely, lovely red rooibos tea. I got the web address for where they get it from and I am DEFINITELY getting some before the weather turns colder this year. I don't even like tea this much, but it is the best one ever.
-got my ayurvedic consultation done and learned that I am Pitta-Vata, not mostly Vata like I had thought (though I *used* to be much more vata, so i wasn't totally off). I learned more about what I should eat more of and what I should avoid and some other recommendations, including an herb to try taking when my stomach starts acting up. It was very interesting and I'm glad I got it done.
-watching travis feed peanuts to the super friendly chipmunks and birds. feels like you're in a Disney movie, lol.
-we finally got another *good* picture of the two of us, and on our 3 year anniversary (6/10).
-walking the labrynth again. I *may* have left a wish/hope for this year just like I did last time. It worked then, maybe it will work this year too. ^__^
-attended a kirtan, which is basically chanting, accompanied by music. Sometimes they got a little repetitious (like 13 minutes of "Ganesha somethingsomething, somethingsomething Ganesha) but overall it was fun and a new experience.
-Speaking of, neither Travis nor I are Hindu at all, but Ganesha was like, the overall theme of the week. He seemed to pop up *everywhere* and I even ended up buying a shirt with him on it, lol.
-MC Yogi. Perhaps the only thing closest to rap that I will listen to. Certainly not your typical yoga music!
-We did not go kayaking as I had kinda hoped, not cuz of the weather but because we were too exhausted from a 5 mile hike that morning! It was not the easiest hike in the world, so it kinda killed Travis and I actually took a nap when we got back to the room, lol. At the top of the mountain though was a really nice view fo the town below, and of course, the other mountains.
-The last workshop we attended was a chakra meditation that could be used to help spark creativity. It was pretty cool and maybe something to try at least a mini version of before I attempt to write from now on.
Well, that's certainly not everything, but I would say that it was another successful Kripalu trip and again, if you're open to those types of things, totally recommend you go. Even a weekend would be a good length of time away. It's just nice to be somewhere where you don't HAVE to do anything and you can run around barefoot all day if you want. :p
We have pictures, but they are all on Travis' camera, so you will just have to wait.
PS-- still considering starting a new, slightly different blog. If I get tomorrow off (or Monday) I may start it then. Of course I will keep you updated. <(^-^)>
Friday, June 5, 2009
Bad, Bad Blogger
I apologize because that much is true. It's mostly cuz of WoW, yeah, but there have also been plenty of times when I've sat down and started writing, then just deleted the whole thing and walked away. I don't know. Nothing seemed entry-worthy.
Soooooooz, here's the deal: I am most likely not going to be writing again before my trip. When I come back, I am sure I'll have tons to write about, but first I want to kind of revamp how I've been doing this thing. It might require a little more honesty from yours truly but I think it might result in less "almost entries" and more actual writing! I've also been inspired by a lot of the blogs I've been reading on here, based on healthy eating and healthy living. So, I don't know yet if I am just going to redo this blog or start another one entirely, but I'll let you know.
Soooooooz, here's the deal: I am most likely not going to be writing again before my trip. When I come back, I am sure I'll have tons to write about, but first I want to kind of revamp how I've been doing this thing. It might require a little more honesty from yours truly but I think it might result in less "almost entries" and more actual writing! I've also been inspired by a lot of the blogs I've been reading on here, based on healthy eating and healthy living. So, I don't know yet if I am just going to redo this blog or start another one entirely, but I'll let you know.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Warning Post
Hello everyone.
I'm going to write a bit when I get home. First I'm gonna go out, go to the post office, maybe stop by the co-op for a bite to eat, and then I'm gonna go to the barn and give Dandy a carrot. I'm trying not to play WoW *all* day, though it does seem like my paladin is never gonna level up. :p
So, laterz.
I'm going to write a bit when I get home. First I'm gonna go out, go to the post office, maybe stop by the co-op for a bite to eat, and then I'm gonna go to the barn and give Dandy a carrot. I'm trying not to play WoW *all* day, though it does seem like my paladin is never gonna level up. :p
So, laterz.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Ocean
I always say I wouldn't care if I moved away from Rhode Island. I'm not a "beach person" and frankly, I would rather have rolling, green fields (full of horses!) than the coastline.
But I can't deny that I do like spending time near the ocean. When I lived in the "crack house" a few years ago, Narragansett Beach was right down the road and so I'd often spend time walking along or sitting on the sea wall. Something about the salty air, the freshness of it, not to mention the sound and hypnotic motion of the waves is calming. I've read that there are more negative ions in ocean air and that literally does have a relaxing affect; maybe there is some truth to that. All I know is that I probably *would* miss having easy access to the beach if it suddenly wasn't there anymore.
The ocean is a good reminder of interconnectedness too, as well as the notion of aimlessness. The purpose of the ocean is to just be the ocean, just as our purpose is to be ourselves. Yes, we all have obligations and jobs and blah blah blah but it's all kind of useless if you can't just be in the present moment. Well, in any case, on the sea wall is when I first started seriously reading about Buddhism and actually understanding it, so being there takes me back to those "aha" moments.
********
Well, today is probably my last riding lesson for a few weeks. Even if I don't change barns, I need a few weeks off so I can put the extra money towards the Kripalu trip. I am going to miss my Goober, but I'll have to stop by once a week or so to bring him treats. ^__^
But I can't deny that I do like spending time near the ocean. When I lived in the "crack house" a few years ago, Narragansett Beach was right down the road and so I'd often spend time walking along or sitting on the sea wall. Something about the salty air, the freshness of it, not to mention the sound and hypnotic motion of the waves is calming. I've read that there are more negative ions in ocean air and that literally does have a relaxing affect; maybe there is some truth to that. All I know is that I probably *would* miss having easy access to the beach if it suddenly wasn't there anymore.
The ocean is a good reminder of interconnectedness too, as well as the notion of aimlessness. The purpose of the ocean is to just be the ocean, just as our purpose is to be ourselves. Yes, we all have obligations and jobs and blah blah blah but it's all kind of useless if you can't just be in the present moment. Well, in any case, on the sea wall is when I first started seriously reading about Buddhism and actually understanding it, so being there takes me back to those "aha" moments.
********
Well, today is probably my last riding lesson for a few weeks. Even if I don't change barns, I need a few weeks off so I can put the extra money towards the Kripalu trip. I am going to miss my Goober, but I'll have to stop by once a week or so to bring him treats. ^__^
Monday, May 18, 2009
untitled
Hi everyone. So sorry that I haven't written, but I've been trying to. I even started writing a few entries, thought them over and then deleted them. The past few days have just been that way, I guess.
Why is it so hard to remember. . .?
I've put this idea out there before, but here it is again:
"Waking up this morning, I smile.
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment
and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion." (Hanh, 102).
I've been wicked struggling with this lately. The worst part is, nothing's really happened to make me feel so grumpy and easily bothered again.
Part of it is just the same old problem of feeling frustrated and alone. I cling to those feelings without even meaning to because I've dealt with them for so long. I'm used to dwelling in a constant state of misery.
But I know that that does not take care of myself in anyway and by turning myself inward, I sure as hell can't help anyone else. It's a bad (but familiar) way of escaping the present moment in which things are fine. Just cuz I'm not used to things being "fine."
I cling very tightly to how I've been treated in the past by others. Then it's easy to throw a barrier up between myself and the world because I can point to the past and say "look at how I've been hurt before." Hell, I can't even join a group in WoW without being severely insecure. The one time I did an instance with other people, I couldn't wait to get out. :/
It's important to keep in mind that everything is always changing and the best way to go into any situation is free of any preconceived notions. It can be so much easier said than done, I know (and again, lately I've not even been taking my own advice). But consider this: every moment is a possible new beginning. Even if the rest of your day has sucked, you can take a breath right now and start again. Then if you tense back up 2 minutes from now, you can take another deep breath and go back to relaxation, as many times as you need to. Seriously, life is too short to go around being tense or upset by petty things. Be mindful of whatever you are doing in your present moment. That's all there is to it.
For example, I'm going to be mindfully playing World of Warcraft. Take that! :P
Why is it so hard to remember. . .?
I've put this idea out there before, but here it is again:
"Waking up this morning, I smile.
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment
and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion." (Hanh, 102).
I've been wicked struggling with this lately. The worst part is, nothing's really happened to make me feel so grumpy and easily bothered again.
Part of it is just the same old problem of feeling frustrated and alone. I cling to those feelings without even meaning to because I've dealt with them for so long. I'm used to dwelling in a constant state of misery.
But I know that that does not take care of myself in anyway and by turning myself inward, I sure as hell can't help anyone else. It's a bad (but familiar) way of escaping the present moment in which things are fine. Just cuz I'm not used to things being "fine."
I cling very tightly to how I've been treated in the past by others. Then it's easy to throw a barrier up between myself and the world because I can point to the past and say "look at how I've been hurt before." Hell, I can't even join a group in WoW without being severely insecure. The one time I did an instance with other people, I couldn't wait to get out. :/
It's important to keep in mind that everything is always changing and the best way to go into any situation is free of any preconceived notions. It can be so much easier said than done, I know (and again, lately I've not even been taking my own advice). But consider this: every moment is a possible new beginning. Even if the rest of your day has sucked, you can take a breath right now and start again. Then if you tense back up 2 minutes from now, you can take another deep breath and go back to relaxation, as many times as you need to. Seriously, life is too short to go around being tense or upset by petty things. Be mindful of whatever you are doing in your present moment. That's all there is to it.
For example, I'm going to be mindfully playing World of Warcraft. Take that! :P
Friday, May 15, 2009
I Feel Bad
for the way I seem sometimes.
I feel as though my normal mode is distant, aloof, composed. All the time in the past I've had to deal with people, particularly boyfriends, feeling as though I didn't really care about them, or at least, not that much.
And it's frustrating because I *do* care, but I have a hard time showing it. By nature I am very serious and reserved. It takes a long time to break out of that shell, and even when I do I can revert right back to it if I feel at all slighted by others.
I'm not even sure if other people feel the same way or if it's just so ingrained into my mind that that's "how I am" even if it's not true.
And I am probably overanalysing this.
I just sometimes still feel alone, cuz I know I have some different interests (to put it mildly) and that sometimes I am way too serious. Part of me is still stuck in my freshman year of college when I hated being myself because apparently I wasn't decent enough to make *any* friends. And then the ways in which I chose to self destruct at least earned me some online friends and community. I used to tell therapists I couldn't give up my habits cuz they made me interesting. I'm starting to think that no, maybe I was afraid to give them up because I would no longer be able to have that kinship if I wanted it. There aren't any good "yeah, now you're recovered!" forums. Believe me, I've looked. :p
Well, that's enough. I have 20 minutes to play WoW and I am not wasting them!
I feel as though my normal mode is distant, aloof, composed. All the time in the past I've had to deal with people, particularly boyfriends, feeling as though I didn't really care about them, or at least, not that much.
And it's frustrating because I *do* care, but I have a hard time showing it. By nature I am very serious and reserved. It takes a long time to break out of that shell, and even when I do I can revert right back to it if I feel at all slighted by others.
I'm not even sure if other people feel the same way or if it's just so ingrained into my mind that that's "how I am" even if it's not true.
And I am probably overanalysing this.
I just sometimes still feel alone, cuz I know I have some different interests (to put it mildly) and that sometimes I am way too serious. Part of me is still stuck in my freshman year of college when I hated being myself because apparently I wasn't decent enough to make *any* friends. And then the ways in which I chose to self destruct at least earned me some online friends and community. I used to tell therapists I couldn't give up my habits cuz they made me interesting. I'm starting to think that no, maybe I was afraid to give them up because I would no longer be able to have that kinship if I wanted it. There aren't any good "yeah, now you're recovered!" forums. Believe me, I've looked. :p
Well, that's enough. I have 20 minutes to play WoW and I am not wasting them!
Monday, May 11, 2009
80/20 Rides Again
So my friend Kristin from work is writing about a new book, Naturally Thin. Now, I must admit that I've read some very mixed reviews of the book and advice the author gives, so I've been interested in learning more in depth about what it says.
One of the author's main points is "Your diet is a bank account." Healthy foods are like "smart investments" and thus junk foods are splurges-- fine, but the goal is to keep the account in balance.
I think this advice is all well and good as long as one doesn't go overboard with it. My own personal diet theory is what I call the "80/20;" eighty percent good food, twenty percent whatever. Or, even more simply, you can have junk food, but don't make that the majority of what you're eating.
As I've said before in here, it just makes sense. Eating like crap makes you feel like crap, physically and mentally. But if the majority of what you eat is good, real food-- whole grains, lean proteins, fruits and veggies, some dairy-- go ahead and have some cookies or a chocolate bar. This leads to the second point Naturally Thin's author talks about, one's "food voice." We all know the feeling-- when for whatever reason you're just in the mood for pizza, or a big green salad or what have you. I agree that if you really pay attention to this feeling, you are less like to get carried away and end up eating an entire box of sweets.
This is why I sometimes can't stand fitness books or magazines that make it seem like SUCH a treat to allow yourself like, 2 Hershey's kisses or 1 fun sized Snickers bar once or twice a week. Bitch, please. I think by feeling as though one *has* to have such a tiny portion, it's just setting oneself up for a binge, or at the very least, eating more junk than might be a good idea. Seriously, say you have 4 M&Ms in the early afternoon and then find yourself out at dinner later that night. How easy is it going to be to think "well, I *only* had a little bit of chocolate before. let's get cheesecake!" and then bam! You're probably going to feel bad later for blowing it.
This is why I feel it is perfectly okay to have *one normal sized junky thing a day.* A whole slice of cake or a whole candy bar-- none of this mini sized crap. And usually that one normal sized thing keeps me over junk-food wise the whole day. Now that is not to say that if a small portion IS what you're craving, you should make yourself have more. No way. Again, you gotta listen to what your body is telling you.
Mind you, that is so much easier said than done. For about 10 years, there was no sane food voice in my life. A third of the author's rules is when whatever you're eating ceases to taste as good as it did at the first bite, stop eating. Again, this can be very difficult if you're not used to paying attention to your internal signals. I mean, I HATE feeling full-- it makes my skin crawl-- but for the longest time, I didn't even FEEL full until I was ready to burst. I don't think I was tasting my food at all, nevermind paying attention from one bite to the next. This is where mindfulness needs to be applied. If you slow down and pay attention to what you're eating, you will know when you're satisfied. It can take practice.
Well, all in all I think I follow the book's ideas naturally, just in a more relaxed fashion. I aim to eat a variety of foods each day, including some junk. When I'm full, I stop. The end. I don't like getting caught up in how much of a particular food group I'm eating or what size particular meals should be. I'll stay a bit anarchistic where all that's concerned. ;)
One of the author's main points is "Your diet is a bank account." Healthy foods are like "smart investments" and thus junk foods are splurges-- fine, but the goal is to keep the account in balance.
I think this advice is all well and good as long as one doesn't go overboard with it. My own personal diet theory is what I call the "80/20;" eighty percent good food, twenty percent whatever. Or, even more simply, you can have junk food, but don't make that the majority of what you're eating.
As I've said before in here, it just makes sense. Eating like crap makes you feel like crap, physically and mentally. But if the majority of what you eat is good, real food-- whole grains, lean proteins, fruits and veggies, some dairy-- go ahead and have some cookies or a chocolate bar. This leads to the second point Naturally Thin's author talks about, one's "food voice." We all know the feeling-- when for whatever reason you're just in the mood for pizza, or a big green salad or what have you. I agree that if you really pay attention to this feeling, you are less like to get carried away and end up eating an entire box of sweets.
This is why I sometimes can't stand fitness books or magazines that make it seem like SUCH a treat to allow yourself like, 2 Hershey's kisses or 1 fun sized Snickers bar once or twice a week. Bitch, please. I think by feeling as though one *has* to have such a tiny portion, it's just setting oneself up for a binge, or at the very least, eating more junk than might be a good idea. Seriously, say you have 4 M&Ms in the early afternoon and then find yourself out at dinner later that night. How easy is it going to be to think "well, I *only* had a little bit of chocolate before. let's get cheesecake!" and then bam! You're probably going to feel bad later for blowing it.
This is why I feel it is perfectly okay to have *one normal sized junky thing a day.* A whole slice of cake or a whole candy bar-- none of this mini sized crap. And usually that one normal sized thing keeps me over junk-food wise the whole day. Now that is not to say that if a small portion IS what you're craving, you should make yourself have more. No way. Again, you gotta listen to what your body is telling you.
Mind you, that is so much easier said than done. For about 10 years, there was no sane food voice in my life. A third of the author's rules is when whatever you're eating ceases to taste as good as it did at the first bite, stop eating. Again, this can be very difficult if you're not used to paying attention to your internal signals. I mean, I HATE feeling full-- it makes my skin crawl-- but for the longest time, I didn't even FEEL full until I was ready to burst. I don't think I was tasting my food at all, nevermind paying attention from one bite to the next. This is where mindfulness needs to be applied. If you slow down and pay attention to what you're eating, you will know when you're satisfied. It can take practice.
Well, all in all I think I follow the book's ideas naturally, just in a more relaxed fashion. I aim to eat a variety of foods each day, including some junk. When I'm full, I stop. The end. I don't like getting caught up in how much of a particular food group I'm eating or what size particular meals should be. I'll stay a bit anarchistic where all that's concerned. ;)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Boring, Sorry
Loggin'. . .
breakfast:
egg and cheese on a spinach bagel
coffee (black, of course)
snack:
1 chocolate mint Clif bar
lunch:
hard to describe. . .a tofu-chicken roll stuffed with beans and corn and maybe cheese? I don't know, but it was good.
2 medjool dates
after work snack:
4 Joe Joes
dinner:
black beans, mixed veggies, salsa and guacamole clump with blue corn chips
I will probably just have an apple heated up with my usual mix of Ayurvedically pleasing spices later.
***********
I have to set up an appointment with my GP withint the next few weeks so I can get a refill of my meds. Although I think what I'm currently on now is fine, I am a little worried about once school starts. I might be time to bump the dosage up as a security measure, just to see what happens.
There's an article in the latest Newsweek about an organization for mentally ill people choosing to live without medication. I don't like being stuck with meds, but if I don't take them, I pretty much can't get out of bed-- and it only gets worse from there. I guess if you have some kind of mania or something like that, you could funnel that energy into creative pursuits or something productive, but that is so not the case with me.
Although-- since getting better on track than I used to be, I find it very, very diffiicult to write fiction like I used to. Those of you who have known me for awhile *know* my never-ending novel (No--Part II!) I still "know" what's going on, if you will, but if I try to sit down and write it. . .forget it. It's very very difficult. In a way, I know that's a good thing because I'm not living vicariously through my characters, but at the same time. . .I miss writing!
Well, I'm gonna stop here, cuz even thinking about this is starting to bring me down. Guess I'll play MahJong til WoW is an option again. :p
breakfast:
egg and cheese on a spinach bagel
coffee (black, of course)
snack:
1 chocolate mint Clif bar
lunch:
hard to describe. . .a tofu-chicken roll stuffed with beans and corn and maybe cheese? I don't know, but it was good.
2 medjool dates
after work snack:
4 Joe Joes
dinner:
black beans, mixed veggies, salsa and guacamole clump with blue corn chips
I will probably just have an apple heated up with my usual mix of Ayurvedically pleasing spices later.
***********
I have to set up an appointment with my GP withint the next few weeks so I can get a refill of my meds. Although I think what I'm currently on now is fine, I am a little worried about once school starts. I might be time to bump the dosage up as a security measure, just to see what happens.
There's an article in the latest Newsweek about an organization for mentally ill people choosing to live without medication. I don't like being stuck with meds, but if I don't take them, I pretty much can't get out of bed-- and it only gets worse from there. I guess if you have some kind of mania or something like that, you could funnel that energy into creative pursuits or something productive, but that is so not the case with me.
Although-- since getting better on track than I used to be, I find it very, very diffiicult to write fiction like I used to. Those of you who have known me for awhile *know* my never-ending novel (No--Part II!) I still "know" what's going on, if you will, but if I try to sit down and write it. . .forget it. It's very very difficult. In a way, I know that's a good thing because I'm not living vicariously through my characters, but at the same time. . .I miss writing!
Well, I'm gonna stop here, cuz even thinking about this is starting to bring me down. Guess I'll play MahJong til WoW is an option again. :p
Monday, May 4, 2009
Chhhhhhhhhh
The c is not an accident!
I have no idea what I'm talking about, lol.
Today was not really a good day. I drove to Warwick, hoping Barnes and Noble would have some newer editions of a few magazines, but no such luck. In any case, I found a few things I would have like to buy, but then I reconsidered. I could definitely use the money for other things, so I put everything back. Decisions, decisions.
Then I came home and played WoW. All day. And in the course of all this, I only ate a Prana Bar (like a granola bar, but all raw ingredients) and a double berry scone from Sophie's all day. It is no surprise then why my mood took a nose dive as the afternoon went on. :/ I scarfed down a few snacks (a few dates, some Joe Joes) but didn't eat anything else substantial until right now, after going grocery shopping. I just made a quick, microwaved mix of frozen mixed veggies, seitan, salsa and a glob of guacamole for some savoriness. I threw in a few drops of Frank's Red Hot and then ate it up with organic blue corn chips. Surprise, I already feel better. ~_~
There has been one matter on my mind, however, and that is: I think it may be time for me to switch barns. When I first started riding again, last September, it had tentatively been my plan *anyway* not to stay at this place forever. I simply wanted to get back into riding shape and then I'd make the switch over to a barn that's more advanced.
Well, I think it's that time. There's nothing wrong with this current place, but if I stay here, my riding is *not* going to advance at all. I like my instructor, but she's definitely more used to dealing with beginners and sometimes I feel like she doesn't quite know what to do with me-- I end up making a lot of own instructions (like silently deciding to do Figure 8's or leg yields. . .stuff like that). And you already know I love, love, love the horse that I ride, but poor Dandy is not and never will be capable of doing anything more than a basic walk, trot, and canter. He just never had the training when he was younger to say, move in a dressage frame and it's obvious he gets unhappy when I ask him to. Plus, I wouldn't mind jumping again, as that's what I was primarily into back in the day, and there's only one horse at the barn that is capable of doing so. This barn simply isn't geared towards jumping anyway-- they don't have any real fences or jump standards. . .just a few cavalettis that max out at 18" or so, tops.
I think I know the barn that I want to switch to; I've known several people who have ridden with this trainer and gave her good reviews all around. Plus, lessons are only $10 more for a full hour of riding, so that's a better deal in the long run. So. . .not sure when I'm going to give this place a call and I'm *definitely* not sure how I'm going to leave my current place. Truthfully, I did want to take a few weeks off before we go to Kripalu so I can use what would have been riding money as "vacation money" so maybe after that I can just say that I need to take some time off for financial reasons. . .dunno. I have a feeling it wouldn't be taken well if I came out with my real reason, even though I don't mean any ill will towards anyone there. :\
So, that's my little dilemma of the moment.
This past Saturday evening, Travis and I went to Rhodes on the Pawtuxet in Cranston for the RI Heritage Hall of Fame's banquet. One of the professors we both had, Professor Molloy, was inducted for the contributions he has made as a labor activist, a professor, and a historian. The ceremony was okay. . .sure enough he was the next to last person to be inducted and by that time I was starting to get sleepy, lol. I absolutely think he has earned the accolades and if any of you current URI students have an extra 3 credits you need to use up, I highly recommend taking the History of Labor. I'm not exaggerating when I say that that class was life changing for me. It wasn't a topic I had seriously thought about before and every class had so much food for thought --
and dammit, I gotta go. Will finish at some point!
I have no idea what I'm talking about, lol.
Today was not really a good day. I drove to Warwick, hoping Barnes and Noble would have some newer editions of a few magazines, but no such luck. In any case, I found a few things I would have like to buy, but then I reconsidered. I could definitely use the money for other things, so I put everything back. Decisions, decisions.
Then I came home and played WoW. All day. And in the course of all this, I only ate a Prana Bar (like a granola bar, but all raw ingredients) and a double berry scone from Sophie's all day. It is no surprise then why my mood took a nose dive as the afternoon went on. :/ I scarfed down a few snacks (a few dates, some Joe Joes) but didn't eat anything else substantial until right now, after going grocery shopping. I just made a quick, microwaved mix of frozen mixed veggies, seitan, salsa and a glob of guacamole for some savoriness. I threw in a few drops of Frank's Red Hot and then ate it up with organic blue corn chips. Surprise, I already feel better. ~_~
There has been one matter on my mind, however, and that is: I think it may be time for me to switch barns. When I first started riding again, last September, it had tentatively been my plan *anyway* not to stay at this place forever. I simply wanted to get back into riding shape and then I'd make the switch over to a barn that's more advanced.
Well, I think it's that time. There's nothing wrong with this current place, but if I stay here, my riding is *not* going to advance at all. I like my instructor, but she's definitely more used to dealing with beginners and sometimes I feel like she doesn't quite know what to do with me-- I end up making a lot of own instructions (like silently deciding to do Figure 8's or leg yields. . .stuff like that). And you already know I love, love, love the horse that I ride, but poor Dandy is not and never will be capable of doing anything more than a basic walk, trot, and canter. He just never had the training when he was younger to say, move in a dressage frame and it's obvious he gets unhappy when I ask him to. Plus, I wouldn't mind jumping again, as that's what I was primarily into back in the day, and there's only one horse at the barn that is capable of doing so. This barn simply isn't geared towards jumping anyway-- they don't have any real fences or jump standards. . .just a few cavalettis that max out at 18" or so, tops.
I think I know the barn that I want to switch to; I've known several people who have ridden with this trainer and gave her good reviews all around. Plus, lessons are only $10 more for a full hour of riding, so that's a better deal in the long run. So. . .not sure when I'm going to give this place a call and I'm *definitely* not sure how I'm going to leave my current place. Truthfully, I did want to take a few weeks off before we go to Kripalu so I can use what would have been riding money as "vacation money" so maybe after that I can just say that I need to take some time off for financial reasons. . .dunno. I have a feeling it wouldn't be taken well if I came out with my real reason, even though I don't mean any ill will towards anyone there. :\
So, that's my little dilemma of the moment.
This past Saturday evening, Travis and I went to Rhodes on the Pawtuxet in Cranston for the RI Heritage Hall of Fame's banquet. One of the professors we both had, Professor Molloy, was inducted for the contributions he has made as a labor activist, a professor, and a historian. The ceremony was okay. . .sure enough he was the next to last person to be inducted and by that time I was starting to get sleepy, lol. I absolutely think he has earned the accolades and if any of you current URI students have an extra 3 credits you need to use up, I highly recommend taking the History of Labor. I'm not exaggerating when I say that that class was life changing for me. It wasn't a topic I had seriously thought about before and every class had so much food for thought --
and dammit, I gotta go. Will finish at some point!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
YO
I have stuff to write about, but I don't know if I'll be motivated to before I go to work. Thanks Wayne for putting me on at 2 instead of 4 like Christine used to. >_<.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
A Reply to Myself
I wrote that last entry kind of on an impulse. Everything in it is true, but nevertheless it was an impulsive composition.
But when I read through it again yesterday, it was like my mind recoiled from the words that I was reading. As though just the essence of the idea of "relapsing" made something in me take notice and say "really?" And instead of feeling angry, I felt a sense of relief probably for the first time EVER that I am just fine the way I am now-- which is to say, healthy (other than this damn cough/cold >;p).
So I found it interesting when I was re-reading an issue of Tricycle that night and came across a short article about the concept of Juingong; one's underlying mind. But it's more than just a rational, thinking mind, instead it is described as one's foundation, as "the unconditional love [and compassion] bodhisattvas have for all beings." And what struck me is that the article went on to say that a thought from one's Juingong is "free of any sense of the notion 'I raised a thought.'" It just freely crops up. That is much more like what I experienced when I reread my last entry and when I sat down and thought about what I said. *
Maybe all this crazy Buddhist stuff hasn't been for naught! :p
Well, I would write more, but I have to work 12 to freaking 9 today, and I have things to do before then. See you all laterz.
*The history student in me said I should go back and cite my quotes. They are from the article "Thinking Big" by Daehaeng Kun Sunim, pgs 16-17 in Tricycle's Winter 2008 edition. FIN
But when I read through it again yesterday, it was like my mind recoiled from the words that I was reading. As though just the essence of the idea of "relapsing" made something in me take notice and say "really?" And instead of feeling angry, I felt a sense of relief probably for the first time EVER that I am just fine the way I am now-- which is to say, healthy (other than this damn cough/cold >;p).
So I found it interesting when I was re-reading an issue of Tricycle that night and came across a short article about the concept of Juingong; one's underlying mind. But it's more than just a rational, thinking mind, instead it is described as one's foundation, as "the unconditional love [and compassion] bodhisattvas have for all beings." And what struck me is that the article went on to say that a thought from one's Juingong is "free of any sense of the notion 'I raised a thought.'" It just freely crops up. That is much more like what I experienced when I reread my last entry and when I sat down and thought about what I said. *
Maybe all this crazy Buddhist stuff hasn't been for naught! :p
Well, I would write more, but I have to work 12 to freaking 9 today, and I have things to do before then. See you all laterz.
*The history student in me said I should go back and cite my quotes. They are from the article "Thinking Big" by Daehaeng Kun Sunim, pgs 16-17 in Tricycle's Winter 2008 edition. FIN
Monday, April 27, 2009
Still Freaking Sick
Can't think of anything good to write. Is this proof that my post-craziness life = boring?
ETA: I always think things happen for a reason, and I think the timing of this dastardly cold was no accident as I was seriously considering relapsing *just a bit.*
I hate that my coping mechanism/s were taken away from me practically cold turkey and for almost a year, at that! I should be glad, I should be thankful (because I even said myself in my old issue-related blog that I probably wouldn't be able to stop until I completely hit a wall) but even to this day I'm not. I should be, cuz I never would have made such mental and emotional progress as I have if this long respite hadn't happened. I just wish there was a way I could have it all-- but that's what this whole thing's about, eh? @_@
I could list the physical improvements I've seen in myself over the past year, but I feel like that would be giving too much away. Suffice to say, one thing that hasn't gone away are the 12 cavities I accrued over several years. Or how about my last upper left molar that's had so much erosion + dental work it's barely even a tooth anymore? HOT.
Oh, I gotta stop dwelling. So much is wrong about this based on what I believe. . .I don't know how I could justify it to myself anymore. I'm going to eat an apple and call it a night.
ETA: I always think things happen for a reason, and I think the timing of this dastardly cold was no accident as I was seriously considering relapsing *just a bit.*
I hate that my coping mechanism/s were taken away from me practically cold turkey and for almost a year, at that! I should be glad, I should be thankful (because I even said myself in my old issue-related blog that I probably wouldn't be able to stop until I completely hit a wall) but even to this day I'm not. I should be, cuz I never would have made such mental and emotional progress as I have if this long respite hadn't happened. I just wish there was a way I could have it all-- but that's what this whole thing's about, eh? @_@
I could list the physical improvements I've seen in myself over the past year, but I feel like that would be giving too much away. Suffice to say, one thing that hasn't gone away are the 12 cavities I accrued over several years. Or how about my last upper left molar that's had so much erosion + dental work it's barely even a tooth anymore? HOT.
Oh, I gotta stop dwelling. So much is wrong about this based on what I believe. . .I don't know how I could justify it to myself anymore. I'm going to eat an apple and call it a night.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Goodnight, Kapha
So today I decided to eat mostly kapha-pacifying foods, hoping this will make *some* difference in my cold.
For breakfast I had an asian pear and a cup of Throat Coat tea. I also had one Vitamin C chewable tablet.
Lunch was at Applebee's in Warwick. . .I had the Cajun Lime Tilapia with squash, broccoli and carrots plus rice pilaf on the side. Remember, foods to make kapha happy should be light and warm-- I thought this meal fit the bill. Ayurveda is also big on how the *taste* of food can affect doshas. Astringent and pungent foods (such as oh, lime juice and cajun spices) are good for perking up kapha. Veggies are good for all doshas, and although raw veggies are possibly better for kaphas, I needed the extra warmth. A salad today probably wouldn't have been a great idea.
Of course, after eating my main meal I went and threw off the balance completely by having a strawberry cheesecake shooter! Oops, heh. ._.
Since Travis and I went to Trader Joe's today for just a few items, I couldn't help getting some Joe-Joe's, which are basically superior Oreos. And yes, I had a few. But I think I made up for my few kapha-unfriendly slips tonight by making a big pot of kichadi (kichari, same thing). A kitchari is any combination of rice, split mung dal beans, veggies and spices, catered to whatever one's needs are at the moment. The one I made tonight was a warming/lung kichari with lots and lots of spices, a bunch of garlic and just sweet potatoes for a veggie. I had 2 bowls full but luckily I still have plenty left for tomorrow and possibly Monday as well!
I'm not hoping for a miracle, I just hope this cold goes along its merry way relatively quickly. I felt so crappy this morning I even had to cancel my riding lesson, and that's not a decision I take lightly. :p
Well, all for now. See most of you guys soon!
For breakfast I had an asian pear and a cup of Throat Coat tea. I also had one Vitamin C chewable tablet.
Lunch was at Applebee's in Warwick. . .I had the Cajun Lime Tilapia with squash, broccoli and carrots plus rice pilaf on the side. Remember, foods to make kapha happy should be light and warm-- I thought this meal fit the bill. Ayurveda is also big on how the *taste* of food can affect doshas. Astringent and pungent foods (such as oh, lime juice and cajun spices) are good for perking up kapha. Veggies are good for all doshas, and although raw veggies are possibly better for kaphas, I needed the extra warmth. A salad today probably wouldn't have been a great idea.
Of course, after eating my main meal I went and threw off the balance completely by having a strawberry cheesecake shooter! Oops, heh. ._.
Since Travis and I went to Trader Joe's today for just a few items, I couldn't help getting some Joe-Joe's, which are basically superior Oreos. And yes, I had a few. But I think I made up for my few kapha-unfriendly slips tonight by making a big pot of kichadi (kichari, same thing). A kitchari is any combination of rice, split mung dal beans, veggies and spices, catered to whatever one's needs are at the moment. The one I made tonight was a warming/lung kichari with lots and lots of spices, a bunch of garlic and just sweet potatoes for a veggie. I had 2 bowls full but luckily I still have plenty left for tomorrow and possibly Monday as well!
I'm not hoping for a miracle, I just hope this cold goes along its merry way relatively quickly. I felt so crappy this morning I even had to cancel my riding lesson, and that's not a decision I take lightly. :p
Well, all for now. See most of you guys soon!
Friday, April 24, 2009
I've Done It Again
not really again, but whatever.
So I think I may be dealing with a minor kapha imbalance right now. Remember, kapha is one of the three Ayurvedic doshas that everyone has. Kapha has everything to do with dampness and heaviness. It is easily imbalanced in the spring because--surprise-- damp and wet are words that often (and have been!) describe the usual weather. As you may remember, one tenet of Ayurveda is that like increases like. . .and too much of a dosha can cause sickness.
For the past few days I've been sleepy and overall run-down and I have an annoying tickle in my throat due to post-nasal drip and mucus. Yum. I've also been a little headachy. Guess what common symptoms are of kapha imbalance? You guessed it-- sluggishness, headaches and excess mucus.
It's probably something I should have seen coming, because I've also been eating the worst kapha aggravating diet ever-- cold drinks, lots of dairy, a lot of fatty processed foods and lots o' chocolate. All that, combined with the weather, was really just asking for it. So what should I probably be doing instead?
-Ginger tea. One of my texts recommends either a ginger-cinnamon-lemongrass mix or ginger-cinnamon-cardamom, but with honey. It is also recommended to boil 1 tsp of ginger in a pint of water and inhale the steam.
-Nose drops made of liquified ghee. About 4 in each nostril.
-Stick to hot water drinks.
-NO dairy. NO cold drinks (as I sip an iced coffee with skim milk ~_~)
-Rest and stay warm as much as possible.
-gentle Sun Salutations
-Breath of Fire and/or Alternate Nostril breathing
And following a kapha SOOTHING diet of light, dry, warm food can only help too.
If only I weren't working today, cuz I'm unfortunately out of a lot of *good* things that would help me accomplish this. Luckily I have tomorrow off, so I'll have to find time to make a nice big pot of kitchari.
And that's your lesson for today!
So I think I may be dealing with a minor kapha imbalance right now. Remember, kapha is one of the three Ayurvedic doshas that everyone has. Kapha has everything to do with dampness and heaviness. It is easily imbalanced in the spring because--surprise-- damp and wet are words that often (and have been!) describe the usual weather. As you may remember, one tenet of Ayurveda is that like increases like. . .and too much of a dosha can cause sickness.
For the past few days I've been sleepy and overall run-down and I have an annoying tickle in my throat due to post-nasal drip and mucus. Yum. I've also been a little headachy. Guess what common symptoms are of kapha imbalance? You guessed it-- sluggishness, headaches and excess mucus.
It's probably something I should have seen coming, because I've also been eating the worst kapha aggravating diet ever-- cold drinks, lots of dairy, a lot of fatty processed foods and lots o' chocolate. All that, combined with the weather, was really just asking for it. So what should I probably be doing instead?
-Ginger tea. One of my texts recommends either a ginger-cinnamon-lemongrass mix or ginger-cinnamon-cardamom, but with honey. It is also recommended to boil 1 tsp of ginger in a pint of water and inhale the steam.
-Nose drops made of liquified ghee. About 4 in each nostril.
-Stick to hot water drinks.
-NO dairy. NO cold drinks (as I sip an iced coffee with skim milk ~_~)
-Rest and stay warm as much as possible.
-gentle Sun Salutations
-Breath of Fire and/or Alternate Nostril breathing
And following a kapha SOOTHING diet of light, dry, warm food can only help too.
If only I weren't working today, cuz I'm unfortunately out of a lot of *good* things that would help me accomplish this. Luckily I have tomorrow off, so I'll have to find time to make a nice big pot of kitchari.
And that's your lesson for today!
Monday, April 20, 2009
I Love Too Much
when it comes to World of Warcraft. ^_____^
If I didn't play that game, there'd likely be 29057395 more entries on here, haha.
Yesterday, when I was [not] reading a magazine at work, I came upon a blurb about a memoir-type book that just came out that I could've written. But no, I always assumed my story was not-quite-exciting enough and not something I'm *dying* to share anyway. Then along comes this girl, who's book will probably do very well amongst people dealing with the same thing, now getting interviewed by magazines and I'm sure making a pretty penny off it all.
Travis and I talk about how this type of situation happens ALL the time. Like, why is Marley and Me such a hit? Cuz a lot of people can relate to it, having owned "bad" dogs. All it took was one guy to just bite the bullet and write it all down. Or, another example that was VASTLY more frustrating to me was a bunch of years ago, when this author with no historical background decided to write about her trip across the US, visiting sites related to presidential assassinations. I picked it up a few times in the bookstore and was just appalled at what I read! She may have gotten some facts right but please, spare the so-called analysis! Leave that to those of us who have spent a LOT of time pouring over the historical sources and can place things in a much bigger context. And don't ever, ever insult the turn-of-the-century anarchist movement if you have no idea what you're talking about. v_v heh
Today was a pretty good day off. I spent most of it playing WoW, not gonna lie, haha. For breakfast I just had my last whole grain bagel toasted and then slathered with ghee and honey. Plus coffee. Then Travis and I went to Wakefield and were *going* to go to El Fuego, but surprise-- closed on Mondays! So instead we went to the co-op and I had a small bowl of veggie chili and some yerba mate. My junky snacks for today were 1 small brownie from the mysterious plate that's been on the kitchen table, 1 hollow milk chocolate egg (rather small) and some Jolly Rancher jellybeans. For dinner I was originally going to make a tofu scramble, but then decided to do something simpler. I just mixed together 1 can of solid white albacore tuna, a handful of edamame and 4 asparagus spears, raw, chopped up. I threw in some extra virgin olive oil, salt and pepper and ate it with some blue corn nachoes. Simple and good! I think later tonight I am going to make a smoothie with rice milk, vanilla protein powder, ground flax seeds and some frozen berries. Oh, and mango chunks. We'll see though.
Well, that's it for the moment. See most of you soon!
If I didn't play that game, there'd likely be 29057395 more entries on here, haha.
Yesterday, when I was [not] reading a magazine at work, I came upon a blurb about a memoir-type book that just came out that I could've written. But no, I always assumed my story was not-quite-exciting enough and not something I'm *dying* to share anyway. Then along comes this girl, who's book will probably do very well amongst people dealing with the same thing, now getting interviewed by magazines and I'm sure making a pretty penny off it all.
Travis and I talk about how this type of situation happens ALL the time. Like, why is Marley and Me such a hit? Cuz a lot of people can relate to it, having owned "bad" dogs. All it took was one guy to just bite the bullet and write it all down. Or, another example that was VASTLY more frustrating to me was a bunch of years ago, when this author with no historical background decided to write about her trip across the US, visiting sites related to presidential assassinations. I picked it up a few times in the bookstore and was just appalled at what I read! She may have gotten some facts right but please, spare the so-called analysis! Leave that to those of us who have spent a LOT of time pouring over the historical sources and can place things in a much bigger context. And don't ever, ever insult the turn-of-the-century anarchist movement if you have no idea what you're talking about. v_v heh
Today was a pretty good day off. I spent most of it playing WoW, not gonna lie, haha. For breakfast I just had my last whole grain bagel toasted and then slathered with ghee and honey. Plus coffee. Then Travis and I went to Wakefield and were *going* to go to El Fuego, but surprise-- closed on Mondays! So instead we went to the co-op and I had a small bowl of veggie chili and some yerba mate. My junky snacks for today were 1 small brownie from the mysterious plate that's been on the kitchen table, 1 hollow milk chocolate egg (rather small) and some Jolly Rancher jellybeans. For dinner I was originally going to make a tofu scramble, but then decided to do something simpler. I just mixed together 1 can of solid white albacore tuna, a handful of edamame and 4 asparagus spears, raw, chopped up. I threw in some extra virgin olive oil, salt and pepper and ate it with some blue corn nachoes. Simple and good! I think later tonight I am going to make a smoothie with rice milk, vanilla protein powder, ground flax seeds and some frozen berries. Oh, and mango chunks. We'll see though.
Well, that's it for the moment. See most of you soon!
Friday, April 17, 2009
omgwriting
cuz the WoW server is being a bitch. ;0
I think it's time for the United States to break up. Seriously. It's obvious that the "left" (cuz honestly, the left in this country is not *that* Leftist) and the right/conservatives are not going to be able to work together. I almost hope that Texas is serious about wanting to secede, cuz if it does you can bet that a bunch of other southern states are gonna want to go with it-- and I say fine. We don't need a second Civil War; freaking let them go. Let them create a theocratic land where there are no taxes, no social programs, unrestricted capitalism and everyone can own as many guns of whatever type they please. See what happens.
Watching this country now is like watching a bad relationship where it is so glaringly obvious that the two people are not meant for each other but they keep trying to make it work. It's getting sad.
On any ENTIRELY different note, I'm very much considering doing a 2 weekend mini-yoga teacher training at the end of August, at ATM. I just think it would be a good experience to have under my belt, especially as I think someday I'd like to also do the 200 hour Kripalu yoga teacher training. Luckily I don't have to sign up til July; I'm sure after my Kripalu trip in June I'll be gung ho about it. Right now I have my usual nagging doubts that make me think it's not a good idea.
Well, that's kind of it for the moment. I am so looking forward to my day off tomorrow, words cannot describe. :p
I think it's time for the United States to break up. Seriously. It's obvious that the "left" (cuz honestly, the left in this country is not *that* Leftist) and the right/conservatives are not going to be able to work together. I almost hope that Texas is serious about wanting to secede, cuz if it does you can bet that a bunch of other southern states are gonna want to go with it-- and I say fine. We don't need a second Civil War; freaking let them go. Let them create a theocratic land where there are no taxes, no social programs, unrestricted capitalism and everyone can own as many guns of whatever type they please. See what happens.
Watching this country now is like watching a bad relationship where it is so glaringly obvious that the two people are not meant for each other but they keep trying to make it work. It's getting sad.
On any ENTIRELY different note, I'm very much considering doing a 2 weekend mini-yoga teacher training at the end of August, at ATM. I just think it would be a good experience to have under my belt, especially as I think someday I'd like to also do the 200 hour Kripalu yoga teacher training. Luckily I don't have to sign up til July; I'm sure after my Kripalu trip in June I'll be gung ho about it. Right now I have my usual nagging doubts that make me think it's not a good idea.
Well, that's kind of it for the moment. I am so looking forward to my day off tomorrow, words cannot describe. :p
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